Self-Motivated…Really…?

Well, until very recently, this word, right up there, was just a HR term for me, that I knew needs some comments in my quarterly performance reviews. Every single time I reached that section of the self evaluation sheet, this is what I wrote – “ I am a highly self-motivated person. I push myself to raise the bar for my own performance and don’t need to be pushed to do things”. And trust me when I say that I DON”T MEAN A WORD OF THAT…

But then, recently, in fact, just last night, my understanding of this term changed and will remain that way for the rest of my life. Now I am not writing this to teach you what it means, and will not drop in a lecture explaining the whole idea behind this self-motivated terminology… I am writing this, so that when I forget it’s meaning in future, I can sit back, read this and remind myself what it means to me. I am also writing this because I know we all like stories and also I want to really sound like some cool guy who writes and people think him to be a great thinker or something…

Now that the confession is done, let’s get back to the story…

Off late, in fact, for the last two years, Metro has become an important part of my life. To put down some number, I send 15 hours a week in the metro and have now found a way of using that time. I plan my work, plan my day, listen to music, and my favorite part observing people. Okay, the last part is in a totally non-creepy, non psychopathic fashion. I just like to look at people and try to find their stories…

Well, last Friday night’s train ride was a new lesson for me. Some 15 minutes into the journey, I heard a voice. And in between the noise of the people around me and that of the headphones of my iPod blaring Holy Wars in my ears, I heard the word Jesus twice… I thought for a moment, FINALLY, THE GODS HAVE LISTENED TO ME… THE GOD IS TALKING TO ME… Then I suddenly realized, hey, hang on, get real dude. God’s got better things to do .He’s got a busy weekend with all the people getting drunk and asking for forgiveness…

So off goes the headphones and I found the source of the noise. Okay, fine, VOICE if you like the polite language so much… It was a man, about 45 years old, wearing a tidy blue shirt, over a black trouser. He was carrying a laptop back-pack, and was speaking in fluent English with a slight eastern European accent that turned into a full blown Indian accent 8-10 minutes into his speech. I noticed a badge that he was wearing; it said Mr. PQR – Director at XYZABC (one of the largest consulting firms).

Oh no, not again, someone’s fighting over a seat again. That should explain Jesus getting into the picture. I mean we Indians normally remember and call out god’s name, when we are fighting. So, I thought let’s get back to my music, Doors were next on the playlist…

Wait, did I hear Money? Hell yes I did… That’s awesome, god and money, part of the same battle; I am going to see a holy war right here. But why’s there just one man shouting? Where’s the other part of the battle?

Oh come-on dude, don’t ruin it. Speak up. Shout it out man. Where are you…?

Another 15 seconds and there was no second noise…

Okay, seriously, am I in India or what? There’s got to be a fight somewhere. I just need to listen carefully. And that’s when I heard the man’s full sentences for the first time in the last 10 minutes or so. I heard, and I quote “If peace is what you are looking for, you have to just look inside, for that is where our Lord Jesus Christ is…”. “ Your money, power, everything else in the world can never give you peace until you believe in your god, the one who lives in your heart, the one who is all mighty, the Lord Jesus Christ…”

WHAT, someone’s preaching inside the metro. How curious? Who’s this man, what does he want?

This was enough to get my attention. I noticed that this man (will call him the preacher going forward, for my own convenience), the preacher, was walking through the crowd and talking about how this life is meaningless if we do not follow the path of god, and we do not help our fellow brothers and sisters like lord Jesus Christ did in his time.

Now I am not a particularly religious person. I mean I do believe in god and some all powerful force, but now the way my parents would like it. So it was the other thing about the Preacher that got me curious. Inside the train, even while he was speaking at the top of his voice, no one was really listening to him… They were busy doing what they do best, talking, complaining, cribbing, and most of them doing absolutely nothing at all. Normally, someone who was addressing a crowd, this would have been an unnerving scenario. You are talking but no one’s listening. How bad it would feel? But for the Preacher, not even a hint of care or concern for the fact that no one was listening. He continued speaking, at the top of his voice for the next 30 minutes before it was my turn to get out of the train. He too boarded out and walked to the stairs with his head held high, calm and composed and smiling as if he had achieved something.

From what I had observed, he had just been talking to the glass doors and windows of the train while people laughed at him. I am sure 95% of the people in there thought he was some nut job who just could not take it anymore and was almost losing his head or about to lose it.

This got me thinking. How is it that for someone, like this preacher, who could have easily guessed how people were reacting, could just shut down the world and it’s distractions around him, and continue doing what he thought was important to him? I am assuming that he was not getting paid for this preaching in metro. And going by his badge, I am sure he did not need much either.

So what was it that could motivate him to do this work? Wait a second; it’s his belief in his work I guess. He is motivating himself to do what he believes is right and makes a difference. WOW. So this is what they mean by the term SELF-MOTIVATED/DRIVEN…

How simple it seems now! Someone who has a strong belief in his capabilities and knows that putting all his heart into it will make a difference to him, if not the world. And in a second, it was clear, like brightly lit day. It’s all about your belief. It’s all in your head. It’s all there, just waiting for you to tap into it…

I am sure a lot of people reading this would disagree, even say that the example is out of place and out of context… but then, does it really matter what example you chose. It’s more about how you chose to interpret things in life and decide how to do them.

For me, ever since that day, I have a new interest in my writing, I have a new interest in my work at office, and I have a renewed interest in life…